The Path Of Thorns
by Persephone Chiara
Summary: Two worlds come together in an understanding neither would have imagined possible. A bittersweet truth is revealed in a heart to heart between Rhiannon Cousland and Loghain Mac Tir. Namely that the best can only be achieved at the cost of great pain. The untrodden path promising a reward far greater than the easy solution granted by vengeance.


Universe: Dragon Age: Origins, the final days of the Blight

Pairing: Rhiannon Cousland/Loghain Mac Tir

Summary: A moment of contemplation, a heart to heart. A truth is revealed.

**The Path of Thorns - A DAO Tale**

_When hope leaves my weary spirit - All the power to hold it gone -_  
_That loved voice so loudly prays me: 'For my sake, keep hoping on,' _  
_When, from nights of restless tossing, days of gloom and pining care,_  
_Pain and weakness, still increasing, seem to whisper 'Death is near,'_

_And I almost bid him welcome, Knowing he would bring release,_  
_Weary of this restless struggle - Longing to repose in peace,_  
_Then a glance of fond reproval bids such selfish longings flee_  
_And a voice of matchless music murmurs 'Cherish life for me!'_

(Anne Brontë)

The inn was quiet, save for the occasional sound of a door being shut or the sounds of wildlife coming in through the darkened windows. Lake Calenhad's shore was not a popular tourist spot by any definition, however the _Spoiled Princess _was the last inn before their final destination and a day's march interrupted by occasional battles had left its toll on everyone involved. Rhiannon had withdrawn to the small room she was sharing with Leliana, the redhead was nowhere to be seen and if she had chosen to share Zevran's bed that night, Rhiannon would not begrudge her that. That way, the only person kept awake by her pacing would be herself and she had long since come to terms with that. Spending her nights alone again was far from easy but she had done so long before Alistair and she would do so again if that was required of her. Still, her thoughts drifted back to him and how he was doing at this point. It was not pleasant but a part of her hoped that, wherever he was, sleep might come more easily to him now. A firm knock on her door sent those thoughts into a welcome retreat. She put down her book, tightened the laces of her gown and ran a hand through her messy hair.

"It's open, come on in." She called, not bothering to get up from her bed. In strode Loghain, dressed in woollen black breeches, a dark grey shirt that had seen better days and leather boots she had never seen on him before. The loss of the iconic Chevalier armour he usually wore only diminished his physique slightly. Rhiannon might be a tall woman by Fereldan standards but he still had several inches on her.

"So you cannot sleep either?" He had barely moved past the doorway, his eyes resting on her, huddled up on the bed with a gleaming night light nearby.

"Here to state the obvious, are you?" She smiled, then gathered her wrapper around her as she stood up. "My mind is ill at ease in the dark." The weight of that admission hung between them like a sword suspended by a hair, the tension mounting with every wordless moment.

"I doubt you came here to discuss my sleeping habits, Loghain, so why won't you tell me what it is you actually want?" Her hand pointed at the chair by the fireplace. "After you have taken a seat. I am getting a crick in my neck just looking at you."

He obliged, shrugging his shoulders as he did so, but not before turning the chair in her direction. He was exhausted, she could tell by the way he slumped into the seat, eyes dark with fatigue. His gaze, hooded and wary, sought her eyes as if searching for an answer that had long eluded him. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and even with just a hint of urgency.

"Tell me why you did it."

Her back straightened, arms folded in front of her chest. "Of all the questions I expected you to ask me in due time, this was nowhere near the top of the list." She would not insult him or, by proxy, herself by feigning ignorance at what he was referring to, the question had startled her nonetheless.

"Honest answers are harder to come by than fortunes in coin, yet no matter your predisposition, your dealings with me have never lacked that particular virtue. We fought together against a common enemy, I would go as far as to believe that we have come to an understanding of each other." He paused, only to continue at her answering nod. "Yet you had no way of knowing this would come to pass. You once told me that whatever questions I might have would be answered honestly to the best of your ability. I have not made use of that privilege until now when I find myself at a loss." It was a feeling he clearly was not fond of, if the whitened knuckles of his folded hands were anything to go by.

The floor creaked under her pacing feet, her arms tightening around her chest in painful spasms. "I do not cherish the thought of those days, spent scrambling from one lucky escape to the next. You were a constant of my old life, where I had imagined you a stalwart defender of everything good and just in the foolish dreams of girlhood." Eyes narrowing to slits, she stood still, her eyes darkening with grief. "But then, had my father not also trusted in his best friend of former days only to be rewarded by betrayal? Vengeance brought me no peace and I thought, foolishly maybe, that forgiveness would succeed where revenge had failed."

"I have much to atone for and if my death could have accomplished that at least I would have greeted it gladly. I would have expected you to kill me for what I did to you and yet you did not. What I fail to understand is why. Everything was falling into place for a total victory, yet you chose to throw that away, losing a friend and lover in the progress. All of this..." His index finger drew a line from his position to where she stood. "For the sake of another stroke of luck, a wild card you had no way of knowing how it would match your deck?"

"Didn't I?" She challenged boldly. "Have I misjudged you then?"

"I..." He looked up at her with eyes that had seen too much death at the hands of those foolishly trusted. "I don't know."

"Death at my or Alistair's hands would not have absolved you and neither he nor I stood anything to gain by killing an opponent who had surrendered. I haven't made it a habit to kill those kneeling at my feet. I have seen..." Her voice faltered, heat blossoming behind her eyes at a memory drawn from its grave against her will. "I have seen my father die in a pool of his own blood. I want no one to go through that. Not if I am there to stop it."

"A noble motive, certainly, yet it makes me no more deserving to stand before you now than anything else." He watched her walk towards him, her fingers stapled together in a gesture of mute control. She stood there for a long, drawn out moment, just gazing down at him with those violet eyes that had conquered an entire nation.

"You wanted to die then..." The conclusion had come naturally, unbidden and unwanted. "I wanted you to live. Can it not be that simple?" A bitter smile crossed her lips. "No, of course not, nothing with you ever is. Or should I say that nothing with us ever is?" One of her hands slid on top of his, intertwining their fingers in a powerful grip. "I do not want another follower looking up to me for guidance or leadership. I am unfit to lead a party of misfits, let alone an entire army." With that, she pulled him up, guiding his hand to his chest. "What dwells within here is a stout Fereldan heart of old, a person I have known all my life. I am not losing anyone else to this Maker forsaken Blight. And if you can see no reason in my saving your life, I will live with that. For I would rather have you alive for me and Ferelden both than dead for nothing."

"You were willing to give up so much..." Clearly overcome and unused to the idea, Loghain stroked her cheek with the thumb and index finger of his free hand, all his bitter sarcasm at Maric's whelp evaporating at her sincerity for this fragment of a moment where it did not matter.

"Hush, for I gave up nothing that was worth keeping at such a cost." Eyes filled with emotion sparkled up at him, her face radiant with belief and confidence. Yet there was a flaw to this perfection, a shade that loomed nearer and nearer as time passed. A shade he had first encountered upon watching his mother raped and killed by the Orlesians.

He stepped closer, circling her waist with one arm and returning her squeeze with the hand she was holding on to. "You deserve more," he murmured into her tousled hair and felt her giggling beneath his touch.

"That is for me to decide."

"Foolish girl," he chided half-heartedly.

"Insufferable man." She retorted, laughing heartily before melting into him as fluidly as silk. Breathless and quiet as a shadow, she brought her face to his and kissed him. Rhiannon felt him shudder beneath her touch, probing forth gently as he eased her into a more comfortable position by pulling her into his lap. The chair creaked upon the collision but gave no sign of breaking. She felt him release a ragged breath upon her snuggling closer, her mouth eagerly exploring his with the artlessness and ardour of youth. This had not been their first kiss but much to her surprise every kiss with him was like something unexplored and new and she cherished that for what it was.

"If you want a moment's peace tonight, you better order me to leave." He held her at arm's length after they had caught a breath, heat uncoiling in his icy blue stare at the sight of her flushed skin and eager lips still red from being kissed so thoroughly.

"I want this," A wave of thrills flashed through her senses as she ground her hips into his, encountering the hardness she knew would be there. "I want you."

"The path you seek is littered with thorns and regret," He warned, his ardour evident. "Tread lightly, I would not have you suffer any more on my account."

"It is my choice, is it not?" Her fingers were weaving through his hair, her smile brightened when she tugged at his braids. "Please. If you wish to leave, I will not keep you. But if even a fragment of you seeks me beyond atonement and redemption, stay with me." He answered her with a kiss both sweet and tender, his hands drawing soothing lines across her back. It was she who deepened the kiss once more, her tongue circling his in barely withheld desire. Once more she had chosen the untrodden path, aware of the risks and willing to pay the price if it should come to that.

"You gave me the answer you promised," he husked into her mouth, a smile tugging at the corners of his. A rush of air made her shiver as he got up to carry her back to her bed. "In that I shall find my atonement."

**FIN**


End file.
